By LeLa Becker
200 Hour E-RYT and Tantra Life Coach
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”
It took me almost all the years of my life to realize that I have a choice when choosing the people that surround me. It has taken me that many years to learn that the people that surround me are not something that I should have to struggle for or with, but rather are a gift that I can indulge. The energies that I choose to have around me now, are those that spark my soul and propel me into my best life. It took me this many years to know what was most important to me and then even longer than that to recognize how I could get it.
I was recently asked “what does connection mean to you?” The response, that dribbled off my lips, was unfamiliar but I liked the way it sounded when the words took up the space beyond my lips. My answer was “I’d like to think that connection with righteous intent is an energy that sparks your soul. It is received as the best expression of your heart, without judgment or worry. The best connections create a sense of ease and fulfillment within every fiber of your soul.”
We are energetic beings and although there are many ways to connect to the world around us. The practice of meditation and yoga (“to-yolk”, “to bind”) is a direct link that allows us to connect to the energies around us. As a life coach and a Tantra yoga teacher, I believe and teach that it is the energies-in which we tap into and in which we surround ourselves-that will either prevent us or accelerate us into our most passionate and productive lives. It is our conscious choice to succeed at our most passionate and productive lives.
Make a list of the 5 people that are closest to you. Categorize them in the ways in which they effect you. Is it negative? Positive? And in which parts of your life? Does your speech change when you are around them? Or the way that you find yourself dressing? Do they drain your energy? Or do they give you a surge of energy straight into your soul? Do they lift you up? or hold you back? Do they have the same values as you? If you changed something about yourself, would they still want to be around you? What is the feeling you get when you are around them? and what does that do for your life?
Analyze this list. Make moves to consciously choose the energies you want around you and the ones you do not. Then implement the 5 steps below to start to live your most passionate and productive life.
5 first steps to clearing a path to your most passionate and productive life
1) Sit Still:
How will you know how to recognize what you want out of life if you don’t completely know what it is? Sit Still. Give yourself the permission to meditate until it comes to you.
This is a simple meditation that you can do to clear your mind and focus on what it is that you really want out of this life.
“Sit in a comfortable chair or on the floor. Close your eyes. Breathe. Allow yourself the permission to relax. Let go of your thoughts. Release all of your thoughts. Clear your mind. Keep allowing your thoughts to float away. Like little clouds, release them and clear your mind. Release all the clutter, the important ones will come back. Sit with all the emotions, the questions, the songs, and just keep listening”
As one of my students described it. “It was like a thunderous bolt of lightening. Like someone screamed it right into my ear. I knew I had to listen to it.”
2) Be honest:
Be completely honest with yourself. Get out a piece of paper and figure out exactly what you want to receive from this world. Make it as silly and outlandish as you want as long it is exactly what you want.
3) Learn to break up:
Learning the tools to leave an abusive, negative or unfulfilling situation, substance, lifestyle or connection is the hardest and most rewarding thing you can do to live a passionate and productive lifestyle.
4) Let go:
Let go of the way you used to think or be. Let go of how the people around you want you to act or live. Let go of the expectations that others have of you.
“Remember you are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.”
5) Reframe your brain:
Catch yourself when you start to complain and then smile. It is in our culture to complain and it is a scientific neurological fact that the neurons that fire together, stay together. Retraining your brain to reflect the life that you want is a practice. Consciously changing from complaining to gratitude will change our lives.
This is an easy exercise. Every morning before you get out of bed and every night before you go to bed think of one thing in which you are grateful. This will help your brain to recognize gratitude rather than focusing on the negative.
Remember that the best energies are the ones that fuel your soul. The ones that allow your quirky sparks to shine. The ones that hold you up, with open hands, yet don’t hold on at all.
The ones that allow the magic to drip from your finger tips. These are ones that will support you into a future of exactly how you want to live your life.
Join LeLa at EKA for a monthly workshop that will dive deeper into these subjects. we will explore, identify and practice the life that you have always dreamed of. By practicing Tantra Yoga, Meditation (visualization, breath work, and theta healing), Journaling, Strength exercises (both mental and physical), Massage and more. Sign up today to receive your spot. Purchase for the year and receive 25% off.
For more information on LeLa's "Mind Over Matter" workshops